"Would you be embarrassed to go to a concert with your mum". If I was 18 (which I can pretend I am, but my body is now telling me this is incorrect) I would say to her, 'there is no way I would be caught dead at a concert with you'. However I'm 28, so I couldn't care if I went with the little old lady down the road who likes to walk her dog dressed in her floral sarong.
True story, but for another night.
So tonight we went on an adventure to Burswood, and the wonderful world of Pink.
Or should I say the wonderful world of outfits women wear when attending a concert.
I dressed in what I thought was perfect concert-attending clothing; tights, longer fitted dress, boots.
I checked my reflection on the way out, and was reasonably happy with my appearance.
Clearly I missed the memo on outfits to wear to a Pink concert. However, I managed to find it hidden away , and would like to point out the main points that are integral to attending a Pink concert.
1. Cleavage is integral. And when I say cleavage, I mean the lower the top and the more free falling your breasts the better, the positive of this is after the concert, you could easily join a dairy farm and contribute to the economy
2. If you don't have a six pack or flat stomach, that shouldn't matter. Let it all hang over your waist band. Let it all hang out. Because its SEXY.
3. If you're drunk, great. Just drink more, that's also really SEXY.
4. Bottom cleavage, is hot. Cellulite covered bottom cleavage is hotter. Ask Paris.
5. Obesity is a chance to find the shortest, tightest dress and wear it. With fishnets, preferably ones that are ripped.
I will remember all of these points when I attend my next concert. Although that is the Black Eyed Peas, so I have a feeling the memo may have changed by then. I will wait patiently by the fax/mailbox/inbox in the hope I receive this prior to choosing my wardrobe.
I will say, that Pink was AMAZING, what a performer, what a stage show, what a night.
With that, enough said. I'm off to plan my wardrobe for the Black Eyed Peas Concert.
Fishnets, check.
Short shorts, check.
Stilettos, check.
Right, I'm off.
