Semi Final 1 - Aus Idol

Okay its Semi Final 1, and I'm ready for it. I have made dinner and my beloved is going to serve so that I don't have to leave the couch.

Its a rather flashy new stage and couch, no more sitting out the back waiting around...

I'm not entirely sure if I like what Ricki-Lee is wearing, those tights always look like someone has rolled around in tar while it was still wet and its dried on their legs. But that is absolutely my opinion.

Hayley Warner - Singing a Diesel song, interesting choice...don't know if I like it and will the kiddies vote for it? She's looking good, the makeup department are working overtime, and her performance is sharp. She's quite the fan of involving the crowd, and clearly her band experience is showing. The question is, will they vote? I hope so. Dicko (with his new buzz cut) likes the 'slightly bonkers rock chick' and is clearly a big supporter of her although he did warn her not to be predictable. Marcia who is my favourite judge, said her usual rubbish, so I won't go into that further. The third judge, who I know I will remember his name soon, said something but I wasn't really listening. All in all, I really like her but will she get through? I'll leave my comments until the end.

Seth Drury - The tallest member of the 24, well that's always something to be proud of. Choice of song is HARD, if you don't get it at the start its hard to get it back. So far I'm not that impressed, but here's hoping it will get better. Unfortunately it hasn't, very low in energy and basically boring. I like Seth, I think he really wants it but with this song I'm a bit blah.

I have a feeling the judges are going to feel the same, but I have been surprised by them loving something awful and vice versa.

Jamila Ioane - This one has really gone a bit under the radar, I hardly remember her from the audition process. She has to get rid of the stupid hand gestures, and who ever told her the black stockings under the dress was a good idea should be shot. Interesting song choice, again will the kiddies vote for it? A relatively energy free performance, and now doing strange 'paint by numbers' dance moves. Some bad notes and really I can't see her getting through to the next round.

Toby Moulton - I'm still wondering if this was the 'feel good' vote of the season, although he's not bad is he really someone who can sell records, and is he in this because he's a teacher who's only chance is now? Don't know yet. Ricki-Lee is doing an interview with his mum, I'm liking the hair. Song choice is Yellow. I'm already scared, hard song. In my opinion, he's great for local musical theatre but nothing more. This is a very bad rendition of this song, but of course I'm sure Marcia will say wonderful things about him. He's doing a strange 'sitting on the toilet' stance, never a good look...unless you're on the toilet yourself then maybe it works. I think his Year 7 students will be seeing their teacher in the next few days. Although he's a genuinely nice guy.

Kate Cook - The country slaughterhouse worker, I admit I'm a fan. Although is Aus 'country' enough to vote for her? We've tried playing around with country like singers before but with no luck. However she's the real deal, and I'm definitely thinking of picking up the phone for her. Fantastic energy, although vocally she's not the strongest. The judges LOVE her, and I think she may just get through to the Top 12.

The final contestant is Stan Walker, the boy who was 'going down a dark road but found music'. Voice great, attitude not so great. I still don't know how serious he is, and that's obvious when he's on camera. Song choice is an Alicia Keys song, interesting and I'm hoping he's great. He's too busy smiling and pointing at the crowd, and I'm not liking it. He's wearing what I think is a beanie, and in my opinion a beanie is better off at the local footy club, not the Aus Idol semi finals. I'm not as impressed as I normally am, what do the judges think?

The new guy (I promise I will remember his name soon) commented about his great voice and the possibility of the public not voting him in. Dicko commented on how great the show has been, good plug there, I'm saw the producers were talking in his ear at that point. Marcia said something, who cares.

Anyway, I think Kate the slaughter house employee and Hayley will get in. But what would I know! We'll see.

Idol Top 100

I'm sitting here watching the Top 100, and all I can say is that I'm very relieved its now only on one night rather than all the time. They used to drag it over a few weeks but have finally realised that its really not nice entertainment watching people sing out of tune due to their crazy nerves when thrown in a line of others and made to sing. Cattle calls are of course a part of entertainment, its what dancers and musical theatre singers do but usually they have been rehearsing the same song for more than 5 minutes.

My one comment - why do they insist on making people who have had 1 or 2 hours sleep learn and perform a new song in 12 hours? It is rather ridiculous. In fact I would describe it as torture, to the contestants and to our ears!

I also find the reactions of the judges ie putting their heads on the table while someone is performing to be more unprofessional than the performers themselves.

Once again I ask the question, what is Marcia Hines doing on the panel...the most annoying person in the history of people.

I am really not a big fan of the girl in the red dress, I think her name is Sabrina. The way I would describe her is a cocktail singer on a cruise ship. I don't mean that in a bad way, its more that she really isn't that exciting and I can't see her getting past the Top 24 if she gets that far.

Also I really don't like Marcia describing the reason we go and watch performers is to get away from our drab and boring days - my days are usually pretty interesting, I add to the already exciting day I'm having by including music and performers. So thanks Marcia, I'm pretty happy with my life.

I love that Christian boy, can't remember his name but what a voice. I see Top 12, maybe even Top 4 in him, brilliant.

Ashleight Toole - what a voice for an 18 year old, and great song. Bit of Ike and Tina is always good!

Aliqua - not a fan of her, but I can already see her in the Top 24. She will appeal to the 16 year olds voting.

Little Scott - the bedroom singing brickie....all this raw talent, I can't see him moving further than the Top 100. But I like him a lot. Go the brickie!

I am looking forward to the Top 24 and the live performances - that's the most fun. Oh and the new judge is about to be announced, who will it be???

Keep reading, I will be doing a running commentary of the live performances, Top 12 performances.

Gotta love Idol.

Oink Oink

Due to my current employment situation (AKA I have a job), I admit I've been a little bit lazy, and have neglected you a bit. But I'm back, and sitting on the couch right now.

After the dramas of the weekend with the 'injury', I am officially over stitches in my foot.

The worst thing is, that I can't wear closed shoes as the tightest part of the shoe happens to be exactly where my stitches are. There's also ALOT of bruising, that's right ALOT of bruising, because I'm injured. So what do I get to wear, everywhere? Thongs.

Yes, that's right I'm trying to fit in with Rockingham and their new found fame as the bogan city of the nation, so I'm wearing thongs everywhere.

It just doesn't quite work with suits. I love going to a job interview wearing thongs with a suit. GREAT LOOK. Of course I explain the situation, but I have a feeling nobody believes that I 'cut my foot with a glass on a Saturday morning and that I was completely sober at the time'.

You can almost see the thoughts ticking over....'clearly this future employee is a piss head who smashes glasses on her foot for fun on a Saturday night'. Of course that makes absolutely no sense, after all who would purposely glass herself, but I find that people interviewing future employees tend to think the worst rather than the best. So I am now an alcoholic who enjoys a bit of self flagellation.

Also, because I tend to get cold rather easily, it means that my feet have been constantly purple for the past 6 days... always a good look. Only four more days and the stitches come out along with the sexy scar on my foot. Still going with the 'tiger attacked me' excuse, much more exciting than the alcoholic who likes to glass herself.

On a different note, hopefully tomorrow I am FINALLY going to have my make up trial. This is the third booking that I've tried to get, however the first time the makeup artist was sick, then I had my 'accident'... so fingers crossed!

We confirmed and paid a deposit on our cake yesterday, so its all coming together. I'm afraid to start adding up all the prices, as I have a feeling its going to be slightly more than the original total we had discussed. I think its safer not to do that until after the wedding. Then while we're drunk and opening presents, I'll mention it then - hopefully my beloved will be too drunk to remember.

Speaking of my beloved, he currently has the Swine Flu, which as we all know is really just the flu of the season. However I can't help but oink and call him Piggy every time he comes near me and as that lovely pregnant sister of mine is coming over for lunch on Sunday, the two of them (being beloved and sis) are going to have to sit there with masks during lunch. One doesn't want to infect the pregnant person in the room. We could leave the pig at home and have a girly lunch, but I just want to see the two of them sitting there with masks on. I find that much more hilarious. Also, I will be taking photos. Because I'm a lovely sister and fiance. Right, off to drink alcohol, minus glassing of course.

What happened to WA?

Okay last night I was watching Australian Idol. Amazingly I did promise myself I wouldn't watch it this year, but other than Dancing with the Stars and a stupid renovation show there is not much else on a Sunday night. Of course if I had Foxtel, then I wouldn't be complaining, but as I don't have Foxtel, I have every right to complain about stupid free to air television.

So there I was watching Australian Idol, wondering exactly what the point of Marcia Hines is -I'm not entirely sure if she said anything more than 'Its a yes'. She's just a waste of space, at least Paula Abdul was funny (usually because she was drunk), Marcia is neither funny nor informative. Basically she's a waste of probably a very expensive salary.

I would also like to ask what happened to the WA auditions? All we got was Adelaide, Brisbane, Melbourne and Sydney and one or two WA singers who 'happened to be' in Sydney. What happened?

Don't we remember all those amazing WA competitors who went on to do nothing, we still want to see the amazing talent of our wonderful state. So somehow WA missed out, which confuses me as I'm pretty sure we are the Number 1 state on the basis of how much money we make for this country. But of course, because we don't have late night trading or Sunday trading, that makes us a waste of time state.

And on that note, what is wrong with us!!? Why are we so against late night trading? When I used to work (once upon a time) I would finish work around 6pm, head to the gym and then get home around 8pm. Sometimes I would be cooking and realise I needed milk/bread/tin of tomatoes, whatever. Or perhaps I had other plans on a Thursday night or Saturday, and wouldn't be able to get to the shops to do my food shopping. Well those plans usually have to be scrapped due to the lack of late night or Sunday trading in our sleepy little state. I was listening to talk back radio (because I'm 70) and most callers are against it, I just don't get it. Sure that sucks about small business, but I hate to say it - I don't care. Yes small business is important, but people having a work/life balance is also important. If that means I can do my shopping on a Wednesday night and have the weekend free to go down south or go to the Swan Valley with friends instead of fighting the rest of Perth to the last packet of two minute noodles available at Woolworths on a Saturday arvo, then I should be allowed that option!

The crazy thing is, I'm convinced every Perth person secretly loves extra trading hours, after all when Karrinyup or Garden City puts up the 'Trading this Sunday' sign, every mum, dad, grandma, teenager goes running. So why are we still fighting this ridiculous fight?

Speaking of sleepy, the other night my beloved and I had dinner with friends on a Thursday night, and by 9.30pm the restaurant was empty except for us, and the staff were politely hinting that they wanted us out, NOW!!

So I'm assuming that after 9.30pm everyone turns into pumpkins, and can't be seen out in public after this time. When did WA become so boring? I'm sure we weren't always like this, I'm sure we could go out and people would be socialising past 9.30pm on a week night. Due to our state being so sleepy and living in the 1960s (I say that based on daylight saving, trading hours and because I can) this means that not even our talented singers get a chance to show what they've got on Aus Idol.

I'm only hoping the same thing doesn't happen on So You Think You Can Dance. If it does, I'm getting out the paper and the ball point pen, and I'm writing a letter.

Doctors and Nurses

This morning my only focus was breakfast. There was no other thought process, I was very happy in my preparation of my favourite meal of the day. The kettle was on, coffee and milk in my mug, cereal and milk in my bowl. I had even managed to have a few spoonfuls of cereal and the morning was looking rather fantastic.

That all changed as I went to fill my mug with hot water. The kettle hit a glass that was on the sink and the glass shattered, some of it hitting my foot on the way down.

Usually I'm a pretty brave person, I use an Epilady on my legs and don't have a problem with donating blood. I'm also a female, so generally pain and I have a good relationship.

I always thought in the case of an emergency, I would be calm and just deal with it. Not this morning, once the glass hit the foot and the blood started flowing, I did nothing but stand in the kitchen pointing at my foot. Luckily my beloved is a mind reader, and could tell that something had happened, and immediately began the process of stopping the blood and bandaging the foot.

Although with his enthusiasm of playing doctor, I did have to inform him the brilliant bandaging was cutting off the circulation to my toes and perhaps amputation of my toes wasn't quite what I was hoping for.

Then off to the local doctor we went - as a nurse's daughter I have been constantly reminded that the Emergency Department is for 'emergencies' and unless I'm dying, the local GP is the best option. And I really didn't feel like an 8 hour wait in emergency along with the rest of the Joondalup population. Not that I have anything against Joondalup, its mainly the people who live there that I have a problem with.

Instead I got to hangout with some local pensioners who were having dressings changed, and through my recent experience with the local Aquatic centre, I was in my element chatting about dressings and urine. Its always an exciting day with the local pensioners, they don't have a problem talking about medical procedures, as long as its about their recent ulcer in their upper thigh - and that's usually combined with lifting their skirt up to give me a good view of something I don't want to see until I'm 75 with Type 2 Diabetes.

Finally, the stitches were in, and off I hobbled with my beloved holding tightly to me. I was hoping to get crutches or at least a wheelchair, but sadly nothing. I have to use my own legs and arms to move myself around, but can't complain too loudly.

Right now I'm lying on the couch while my beloved does the food shopping and brings home some DVDs for the afternoon.

The only problem, is that now I can't exercise, but that's okay. The next best option is starvation to ensure I don't put on weight during my non-exercise experience. Ten days and the stitches come out, combined with a dramatic scar on my little toe.

I'm currently thinking of the best story to accompany the scar, and possibly going with a dramatic encounter with a tiger. Anything that sounds better than shattering a glass in the kitchen. Suggestions welcome.

Dead Brain Talk

I was a receptionist today. Something I haven't done much of, but definitely an occupation that I now have a lot more respect for.

The place I worked at required me to request 'Sales' answer a specific line, and this was done over a PA system.

After getting used to the sound of my voice being blasted over the entire warehouse, I began to enjoy the experience.

People are usually nice to the receptionist, every now and then you have one or two people who decide they are much too good to be nice to the receptionist, but 99% of the time everyone is really nice.

My brain is now dead, four weeks of studying and watching Ellen didn't allow for 8 hours of actual work where I had to constantly be nice to people. I had to control myself from walking in the front door and heading straight for the bed. I was a good girl and controlled myself - after all, I'm a working woman now, I work 8 hour days with no trouble.

Starting Tuesday is job number two (I need a three day weekend after working a full day), again working in reception, which I'm beginning to enjoy...also I like the idea that the receptionist is the first person to leave. I can not remember the last time I was the first person to leave, in fact in the past if I even thought to myself '5pm, I'm leaving on time today' this usually meant the boss would call or a sudden drama would occur requiring me to work til late.

If being the receptionist means leaving at 4.30/45pm in the afternoon everyday, well maybe its my calling. Or maybe not.

However, I'm glad I'm getting paid, it means I can continue planning the wedding without feeling that an unemployed bum has no right to look at wedding dresses.

Tonight is Pho night. Mmmm pho. This is not said 'fo', its sort of pronounced 'fer' but with a short 'r', like how army people might say 'sir'. Make sense? Of course it does, I am nothing if not a sense making person.

Pho is the food of champions for all Vietnamese, and it is rather marvellous. My pho of choice is chicken - chicken stock, shredded chicken, coriander, sprouts, mint, squeeze of lime, fresh chillies, rice noodles. Delicious, and ridiculously cheap. In Australia its around $12 for dinner, in Vietnam its about $3... I can't see the price in Oz ever getting quite as low as Vietnam, but I won't complain about a $12 dinner.

I loved Vietnam, what a fantastic country. Although I have to admit, I thought after our holiday there I was going to return by myself and my beloved was going to run off with a Vietnamese girl - they are very attractive and rather good at flirting. However, I managed to wrestle him onto the plane (after I secured him to the bags with a pair of handcuffs) and now we're engaged. Meant to be.

Tomorrow its a bridal makeup trial, and conveniently I have made it late in the afternoon as we are heading off to a 30th birthday with karaoke. Two good things about that, one I don't have to do my makeup, second is karaoke. Love it. Sadly, my beloved doesn't have the same passion for karaoke, in fact any passion about it would possibly be absolute contempt. Am I being harsh? I'll let you be the judge.

Inspiration

Okay, I am officially no longer an unemployed bum.

I have a day's worth of temping tomorrow and then two weeks starting Monday. Yay!

During the four weeks of unemployment, it felt a lot longer, I managed to control myself and not resort to smoking, I have still kept exercising throughout the experience, and with the gluten free diet have managed not to eat packets of chips and hamburgers.

I'm praising the Gluten free diet, it stops you from eating CRAP. Also, I can't eat gluten, so that's also probably a good thing.

I also picked up a bridal magazine yesterday, so I must be feeling half decent.

Planning a wedding, in my opinion, is one million times harder than looking for a job. There are so many options, so many decisions.

Looking for a job, there are two steps. Find a job advert, apply. Sometimes a third involves 'touching base' after sending your resume off. And of course, if you are a successful applicant, the fourth job step involves the interview. That is it, there are no more steps involved, except when you begin to doubt you'll ever get a job, then there is the drowning yourself step, but so far I haven't needed to move to that step.

I never thought picking out underwear, invitations, bridesmaid dresses, shoes etc would be so damn difficult!

On the m bridal magazine cover I was immediately drawn by the story title 'Pure Inspiration'. So immediately I bought the $16 dollar magazine, because it had inspiring stories, and as a bride I need to be constantly inspired. Constantly.

I was inspired by the two competitions, one prize involved winning $7,500 worth of photography, the second $10,000 worth of couture. Yes please. That will save many an arguement with bridesmaids who don't want to spend too much. I really think Lisa Ho is an option for bridesmaids outfits, for some reason I'm not getting the same response from my bridesmaids. I don't understand this.

However, I have come up with a brilliant solution that I'm sure NO OTHER BRIDE has ever come up with. That's right, I think I am the first person to think of this amazing idea.

I'm going to choose the material and allow the bridesmaids to pick their design. I know, brilliant, original all of the usual legendary statements. I'm officially a genius.

I'm also struggling for inspiration when it comes to hair. Sometimes I think soft and feminine sounds great, other times I like the idea of dramatic and sexy.

Do I want my beloved to see me on the day of our wedding and think 'We're never going to have sex again, but I'll probably get lots of cookies and cupcakes' or do I want him thinking 'Hot, sexy, want her now'. The only concern with the latter, is that some of the photos may be slightly awkward.

I will continue to look for the 'perfect' wedding hairstyle. I am looking to celebrities for inspiration, which is understandable as they are indeed inspiring people. Jordan for one, is the type of lady who inspires people to leave their husband for cage fighters, which I think is something to aspire to. I love a good cage fighter, better than a poofy one hit wonder who's asking you to 'Gimme a little sign'.

Oh weddings, I keep having moments of 'elope', but then I remember all the people that we love so much who would love to see us commit to each other on the day. Also, it has nothing to do with being a princess and centre of attention. Nothing.

Gloss is wearing off

I won't lie, its no longer as fun as it was at the start. Now interview after interview, 'best features you would bring to a workplace' questions are just depressing.

The handshake, smile and 'good to meet you', is no longer a positive experience.

Waiting for phone calls, emails saying 'unfortunately you were not successful', that has definitely lost the shine that was there at the start.

Being told you've got an interview, but then informed they've been interviewing all week, and have more to go. Not fun.

I'm over daytime TV, I'm over deciding between my dark blue jeans and my darker blue jeans with the frayed edges to wear around the house. I don't find midday exciting anymore, although I still make the expedition out to the letterbox. But now I'm thinking, 'please don't be a bill', as that just puts more pressure on me to find a job.

I'm very close to taking up smoking again, but luckily for my lungs it costs money, and as I don't have a job, don't really have the qualifications required to buy cigarettes.

Wedding plans have definitely lost their shine, how can I afford my bridesmaid's, mum's and my hair when I can't even afford a pack of cigarettes!!

I had a moment of insanity when I looked at a Raunchy advert on Seek, and for one crazy moment thought, 'sure I can do that'. Then I remembered its hard enough to get naked in front of my beloved, let alone dance around a bar with only my knickers and bra to cover me while attractive (and when I say that, I mean disgustingly unattractive drunk) men all ogle me...sounds rather lovely actually, which really means that is definitely out.

I am now registered with three different temp agencies, in the HOPE, something will come up.

Basically life is absolutely hilarious, and I can not stop loving every moment of everyday.

I'm starting to get why unemployed people remain on the dole for years, because its FUN. I'm so glad I finally understand that.

Although I think it may have something more to do with losing the motivation to look after a million knock backs, so its much easier to smoke their pack of cigarettes (they can afford this, they have an income, aka the Dole) while watching Dr Phil.

On the subject of Dr Phil, what is it with him getting involved in high profile murder cases and then discussing the best prospects for the children of the accused. Boring, can we please go back to obnoxious children who are tearing apart family's lives. That's much more fun.

I happened to watch a bit of Ellen today, why can't we have a show like that in Oz, I would seriously be in the audience everyday. Not just for the freebies, but also for the informative and entertaining guests. Could possibly be lying, but will leave that for you to decide...

Right enough with the depressing rants, of course we're all allowed our moments, and I know it will get better. I'm sure I'll find a job that won't be working for Raunchy or Bikini Girls Massage..

One question though, is this new 'Super Sunday' for Australian Idol going to work.... we'll just have to see. I will say this, what is so fantastic about Marcia Hines, she says nothing intelligent, other than 'You did good darlin'. Also, she is the WORST entertainer, whenever I watch her perform its like watching a robot sing and 'try' to dance. Kate Ceberano would have been so much better, or may be Paula Abdul? She doesn't want much, only $20 million, which I'm sure is cheaper than Kyle. I think Channel 10 should think about it, or give me a call. I'm looking for a job, they're looking for a judge. Perfect.

Lazy Sunday Arvo

After a wonderful morning having my hair done by the best hairstylist, I feel like I'm cheating the rest of the unemployed bums out there.

They use home hair colours and trim their hair with nail scissors while my hair was done professionally and finished off with a gorgeous blowdry...I'm definitely betraying the jobless.

Although I am now sitting on the couch while my beloved makes pumpkin and potato soup, I'm reversing the gender roles somewhat, and rather enjoying it. Sit on the couch and watch the footy while the man you love makes soup, why would I do it any other way?!

Although I am about to make a contribution to the household by ironing the work shirts, technically they're work and interview shirts, if we want to get specific. Every day, I wake up, and head to my interview, so I have interview shirts, I don't think it would be fair to the shirts to call them work shirts. After all they only do one or two hours a day, and I don't want them to get a shock when they actually become work shirts and are forced to do 8 or 9 hours in a row. Poor things are going to struggle when that happens, so its safer and kinder to remind them what they really are - interview shirts.

My beloved on the other hand has work shirts, and they deserve that title. They work hard, and I give them respect when ironing them. Work shirts need to know the contribution they are making to my beloved's body by doing what they do best, working.

I have to admit I have a bit of a thing about ironing. In no other part of my life am I at all anal and specific about anything. I don't make the bed everyday, sometimes I'll forget to put a glass in the sink and leave it in the lounge, and more often than not, my dirty clothes don't always immediately make it to the laundry basket. Not that it's intentional, I just have ALOT of other things on my mind, primarily checking everyone's updated status on Facebook or checking out Judge Judy - which means sometimes, sacrifices have to be made, and in that case its taking my used glass to the sink. The glasswear in the house understands that, and they do their bit for the team.

Ironing on the other hand, I am ridiculously anal about, in fact any airforce base in this country would be proud to recruit me. My arm creases are perfect, and there is no chance of anyone leaving the house with crumpled clothes. Any woman or man who lets their woman or man out of the house wearing an unironed shirt should be ashamed of themselves. In fact there may even be a Page of Shame, or I may be lying.

So while watching Australian Idol, I will be ironing away and while I'm ironing, I will of course be ensuring that I provide my professional comments regarding contestants/judges/the relief at seeing that idiot Kyle Sandilands off Idol.

Right, better get that ironing board ready.

Rainy Saturday Arvo

After spending the morning with mum and sister, it was time to do that wonderful domestic duty, food shopping.

Now that I've self-diagnosed myself as gluten intolerant, and with a medical degree I have every right to do so, the fun is finding gluten free products that taste half decent.

Although at least Woolworths has a wide range of options, and I have just finished my own pack of Gluten Free potato chips. After getting past the feeling you're eating stale chips, they are rather delicious...

After a lovely session of food shopping, my beloved had a gig at school, so I decided to tag along and go for a walk around lovely Mosman Park. Which I did. In a pink shirt and blue bra. Somehow I failed to realise that combining rain with a blue bra under a pink shirt would mean excitement for all of those Maserati drivers in the suburbs.

Oops, but hey, at least it is a change from their botox-filled wives....

I love walking around Mosman Park, there's slightly more to look at than in my lovely suburb of Nollamara with its empty shopping trolleys, mattresses lying on the side of the street and burnt skeletons that were once cars in front yards. Okay, I exaggerate, there's only one or two car remains and I've only ever seen one shopping trolley and that was at the local shopping centre.

I'm now sitting on my couch, like the unemployed bum I am, with my own brew, Peroni. Not quite VB, but its a gradual move to complete feral. Give me time, it will soon be VB.

However by then I will be writing this blog, photocopying it a few hundred times and throwing it out of my car at 90 kph due to my inability to function a computer thanks to the decreasing number of brain cells left from not having a job for a number of months.

My beloved and I have also both agreed that as of Monday, we will be on a joint healthy eating/exercise plan so that we can be lean and ready for the summer months.

I did suggest we start on Sunday, but was quickly shot down, and of course I know its better to binge for two days rather than one, and start 'eating healthily' at the beginning of the week.

So bring on the french onion dip and gluten free chips. I live life dangerously.

Beer is also banned from the house, and no more icecream is allowed for late night TV viewing. I'm sad, but know that although a 'softening' of the waist is okay, a muffin top is definitely not and with 13 months until we get married I definitely want to look half decent...nothing sexier than a bride in trakkies and a veil, which is my aim for the wedding - still unemployed and definitely a dream wife for anyone.

So Monday it is. Not just looking for a job, but trying to make myself look half decent for that dream interview of mine. Don't just look for a job, work out for a job.

Pink and the bits I don't want to see!

A few months ago I received a call from the wonderful woman who gave birth to me, otherwise known as my mum.

"Would you be embarrassed to go to a concert with your mum". If I was 18 (which I can pretend I am, but my body is now telling me this is incorrect) I would say to her, 'there is no way I would be caught dead at a concert with you'. However I'm 28, so I couldn't care if I went with the little old lady down the road who likes to walk her dog dressed in her floral sarong.

True story, but for another night.

So tonight we went on an adventure to Burswood, and the wonderful world of Pink.

Or should I say the wonderful world of outfits women wear when attending a concert.

I dressed in what I thought was perfect concert-attending clothing; tights, longer fitted dress, boots.

I checked my reflection on the way out, and was reasonably happy with my appearance.

Clearly I missed the memo on outfits to wear to a Pink concert. However, I managed to find it hidden away , and would like to point out the main points that are integral to attending a Pink concert.

1. Cleavage is integral. And when I say cleavage, I mean the lower the top and the more free falling your breasts the better, the positive of this is after the concert, you could easily join a dairy farm and contribute to the economy

2. If you don't have a six pack or flat stomach, that shouldn't matter. Let it all hang over your waist band. Let it all hang out. Because its SEXY.

3. If you're drunk, great. Just drink more, that's also really SEXY.

4. Bottom cleavage, is hot. Cellulite covered bottom cleavage is hotter. Ask Paris.

5. Obesity is a chance to find the shortest, tightest dress and wear it. With fishnets, preferably ones that are ripped.

I will remember all of these points when I attend my next concert. Although that is the Black Eyed Peas, so I have a feeling the memo may have changed by then. I will wait patiently by the fax/mailbox/inbox in the hope I receive this prior to choosing my wardrobe.

I will say, that Pink was AMAZING, what a performer, what a stage show, what a night.

With that, enough said. I'm off to plan my wardrobe for the Black Eyed Peas Concert.

Fishnets, check.

Short shorts, check.

Stilettos, check.

Right, I'm off.

Sitting in front of Seek..

I have officially been unemployed for 16 days, after deciding to leave my place of employment.

This decision came after a week of hysterical crying, and my beloved was the one who told me to leave.

So I did. I walked in, gave in my resignation letter, and walked out.

Only on the drive home did the realisation set in, that I had never left a place of employment without a new job to go to.

But then I told myself that I'm like all of those other women who you see in Madison, they are taking time out for themselves, to 'find themselves', and then success will come.

While success has not yet come to me, I am hoping its only a matter of time!

I will wake up tomorrow, look outside of my mansion and know my Mercedes is sitting in the carport. If I can only find a way to unlock the secrets of Lotto, my wish will come true!

I now get to hang out at the Aquatic Centre, swimming laps with the pensioners, and shopping for food when only the new mothers shop.

I have also become an expert at searching Seek, I am the queen of searching the pages for that special job that is just me.

I now know that 'Special Girls and Guys' equals, 'get ready to do a lot of walking the streets trying to sell something almost unsellable' and 'Sales Whiz' is really code for 'Payment is only through making one million calls a week, and hopefully you might get one lead out of that'.

I have applied for so many jobs, I have become an expert at selling myself over the phone, and I am confident something will happen soon. I am confident, I am confident....

The next best thing is to do some temping, and yesterday I spent the entire day calling every temp agency hoping a company might require an 'exceptional receptionist' or 'speedy data entry clerk'...or something equally as exciting.

In the meantime, I now call myself a 'student', and spend some of the day in trakkies.

In between emailing resumes, I have become something of a TV connoisseur, and know the shows to watch at certain times.

Forget Kerry-Ann, its Larry and Kylie all the way for me. I have discovered its easy to watch three cooking shows in a row and there are usually three midday movie options, with Channel 7, 7HD and 9HD, the options are ENDLESS!

I will continue to search Seek for my perfect job, email off my resumes and something will happen, I know it will.

I have now put an A4 sheet of paper on the fridge, so that I'm aware of my upcoming interviews. Its only a matter of time before that perfect job presents itself to me...

In the meantime, keep reading and I will be happy to inform you of the recent plot on B&B, what Oprah was talking about or even how tight the competition was on Ready Steady Cook.

I can't understand why the whole country isn't working, its much more exciting than your steady 9-5!